Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
