my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
