Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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