the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
