I hate all girls vehemently.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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