why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
