Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just blew my weed a kiss
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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