And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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