I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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