Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
