he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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