omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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