after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
