I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
