I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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