actually, I'm a sock model
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
