who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
