Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
