covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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