you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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