people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
