At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
