Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
