it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
