yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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