they're like a gay fantastic four
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
