This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
