I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
