dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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