...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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