Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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