It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
