in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
