Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
