i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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