u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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