Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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