You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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