Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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