I must be too annoying 4 u.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Found the puke drawer
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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