So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
