how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
