What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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