so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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