he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
