I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
