This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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