What a fucking waste of an outfit
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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