I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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