a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
